Turn off the radio

I wanted to take this time out of my life to say I'm sorry. To all the people I've wronged. All the people who died in wars. All the people who loved and lost. All the people who gave with all their heart. All the people dying, crying, suffering, starving, coughing, bleeding, grieving...I can't understand it at all, why we have to be this way. No amount of education or enlightenment can make me understand suffering. No amount of praying will stop it. No amount of crying or hurting for people I don't even know. I still can't stop feeling this way, ashamed to be so alive and blessed and ungrateful. What can I do, short from joining the Peace Corps or starting a war.

I'm so angry it hurts! What do I do... how do I face myself, as a person, as a human, as a woman, as an American. What do I stand for? Why?

Good god, I'm such a cry baby. One movie about the Holocaust and I'm wiping tears and snot off my face.