Sunrise Ave

I have an unbelievably short attention span for someone claiming to be so patient.

Rocky roads ahead--but this time I'm bringing a spare tire and a shot gun. College won't get the best of me this semester.

Doom descends--I feel the cold grasp of death stretching for my ankles every time I look over in the corner at my cello, the image of Mrs. Parrette's fingers securely locked around my throat clear in my mind...

"What the hell is this? You call this a scale?! I call this BULL SHIT."

I learned my lesson about money--I think. No more frivilous spending until I have a job. Then I can fart money for the warm feeling that comfort food gives normal people.

I decided I'm going to create a drill sergent persona to keep me motivated and driven. If it was up to me, I'd sit around all day perfecting the art of sleeping.

Turn off the radio

I wanted to take this time out of my life to say I'm sorry. To all the people I've wronged. All the people who died in wars. All the people who loved and lost. All the people who gave with all their heart. All the people dying, crying, suffering, starving, coughing, bleeding, grieving...I can't understand it at all, why we have to be this way. No amount of education or enlightenment can make me understand suffering. No amount of praying will stop it. No amount of crying or hurting for people I don't even know. I still can't stop feeling this way, ashamed to be so alive and blessed and ungrateful. What can I do, short from joining the Peace Corps or starting a war.

I'm so angry it hurts! What do I do... how do I face myself, as a person, as a human, as a woman, as an American. What do I stand for? Why?

Good god, I'm such a cry baby. One movie about the Holocaust and I'm wiping tears and snot off my face.

Broken Horn

Yu Yu Hakusho is such a gem in my book.

Welcome back, anxiety! I missed you like a festering hole in my gut.

More strange dreams... this morning I had another that I was back in high school, but with only two friends--a goth guy and a punk girl. It seems I wore baggy clothing a lot and hid my hair in a cap, so most people assumed I was a guy. The people at that school probably thought I was pretty weird, since I started dating him half-way through. lol He didn't have eyebrows. Strange, I just remembered that.

Maybe if I get back on track with my cello... that sounds like a smart idea, so I don't have to kill myself two weeks before class starts up again.

I love my family. I never realized how awesome it is to have unconditional love until I'm living in it 24 hours a day.

Oh, hell, I need to mail that thing off to John...

Crash Test

After waiting almost two weeks for my camera, I realized it wasn't the prospect of having a camera that excited me--it was having something to wait for in the first place. When it arrived--finally--I opened it, toyed around with it, and now it sits with the rest of my crap, already just another material object to be taken granted. I need a hobby--one that doesn't require the use of my debit card--and fast, else I start up a collection agency for my poor spending habits.

Next I fancy myself getting a guitar. What the f-ing hell? I know it's wrong, I know I should be saving for textbooks--but I can't stop. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion, gaping helplessly from the window as it barrels down the slope for the thrashing waters of the river...

Going back to Lakeland for a few days... Nizhshiz is all I'm going to say about that.

\ /

....> <.....

o

Bumper to Bumper

Give me my waffle or I will kill you.

What Heero should have said.

I can't make up my mind what kind of person I should be looking for, or if I want to look at all. Dark, silent, standoffish? Funny, sensitive, geeky? Kind, intelligent, charming? What flavor of icecream does this cone want? How many rocks do I have to turn over, how many frogs do I have sort through?

What a shlahp of things I've created for myself. I'm not going to graduate any time soon.

Strange dreams lately. Nothing really concrete I can describe.

I heard a rumor that they're actually going to trade Lecavalier. That's pretty major, if it's true.

Yesterday, since I woke up at 3AM and couldn't go back to sleep, I tried watching the old Yu Yu Hakusho movie, but found the english voice acting so ridiculous--aside from Hiei and Kurama, of course--that I couldn't sit through it.

Woop. I don't feel like doing anything.

Pedestrian Crossing

I've decided my favorite author is George Orwell, an act far overdue considering I call reading a hobby.

With all this space and time, I'm writing more than I have all year... I used to love it, it was part of who I was. I'd write things that only I could understand, only I could grasp the importance of or appreciate the humor in--I didn't give a flying dog turd if anyone else liked it. I wrote for me.

LOL those Verizon commercials.

I found a good book to dive into. I'm excited. Vampires and violins--oh no! >:)

Yellow Line

Damn, it's getting hard to think of more phrases that relate to the road...

After watching the entire Fruits Basket series, I felt so girly I went out and bought four skirts and two pairs of shoes. Needless to say, my wallet hates me right now.

Driving Conan to school today, I decided I'd be proud to be his mother, if I were. As it is, I'm glad I'm his sister, even more so to be his friend. Funny how distance and time can change a relationship sometimes.

Watched the new X-Men movie. I think I fell a little bit in love with Hugh Jackman, but only after Steph and I watched The Prestige and then saw him on Ellen. Three movies in two days... unprecedented. I never sit in front of a TV unless my ps2 is hooked up to it.

Hot damn, this tea is good. It's like drinking a smile.