Doubtless, I'm completely torn between grief that summer is over and relief that I can return to accomplishing something in my life. I'm living in this eerie state of nostalgia, like my memories of all the different sagas in my life are floating together a deep rain puddle in the shade of an oak tree, clear to the bottom coated by golden leaves. Nothing would please me more than just a pointless drive around the state with nothing but a map, a bitch load of CD's, two or three gallons of Arizona Green Tea with Ginseng and Honey, my dog, and a few hundred dollars for nothing but gas and food. I just want to clear my head of all of this, maybe kill this restless apathy so I can get motivated to move on.
I'm lost again, if momentarily.
I think I'm infatuated with a fictional character.
Stupid cello, stupid etudes, stupid Sammartini. Stupid me, knowing this would happen.
I want to hang a rug out back and beat it senseless with a baseball bat, but I'm too tired to attempt it.
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