Sideswiped

Nothing is more ominous than a new file on Word

untouched by taint of human emotion

or besmirched

by blasphemous attempts at creativity--

mocking me, that blinking cursor--powerless to stop

the screaming sliver of black

as it taunts--ha--ha--ha--ha--

steady rhythm, unceasing, merciless

--ha--ha--ha--ha--

there, then gone,

there again--

ha--ha--ha--blink--blink--blink

sleep is for the dead,

rest for the weary--

but not the anxious--

blink--ha--blink--ha--

bitten nails, broken, cracked lips

scarlet fever of the mind,

shadows hissing

halted heartbeat

dulled humor

and the laughing--

ha--ha--blink--ha--blink--

anger without feeling,

exhaustion without sweat--

waiting...

deliverence, where art thou

blink--HA--blink--HA

patterns in the lights

secured in memory,

sweet pine drifting--

Christmas when I was five

amongst the wolf spiders and piss ants--

alone without fear, gaping at the sing-song

tale spoken in the branches

suspended above a modest mountain;

rewrapped toys and food--

cold sand, grit in my teeth--

there should be a taste, like brown sugar

or cherrys or pie--

pretend anyway

surge of topaz bubbles

rushes through my chest at his name--

goddamn you, heart,

betraying me...

tear you and bleed you out into the abyss,

if I could only reach

blink--ha--blink--HA

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