Pit Stop

Today, I beat rugs with a tennis racket and swore at dust bunnies. Jumped around the house like a three-year-old on drugs. Watched close to three hours of Korean Drama, 'bout a guy who thinks he's falling in love with the guy--who's actually a girl--he hired to be his gay lover for three hours as they spent a lot of time working at the same coffee shop his grandmother forced on him. There are at least two other major love interests involved. And a dog.

Going out tonight with my brothers to this slushie and coffee shop--something about this amazing drink with tapioca beads in it or something.

I really missed my solitude--I basically gave it a big hug today and said--"WELCOME BACK!" It makes the time I spend with people more appreciated or something, I guess. I figure, I've got a set number of intelligent words stored in my head, and spending too much time talking out loud depletes that supply, so I need a few days alone to recharge and collect my thoughts.

That makes me a broken bean bag chair or something, I guess.

I love jumping on those things--especially the broken ones. See how those little beads fly.

Down shifting

After having an impossible amount of stuff to do in so little time over the course of about a month, I feel lost now I've got not my anxiety attacks to deal with. Today's six-hour-stent was the last leg of the insane crash cramming school work gig. 10 page lesson plan, 4 page observation study, 2 article reviews, and one 3 page long interview.

Just one acronym. ESOL.

Now I've got the whole unpacking shindig, I guess, but I'm so far from wanting anything to do with that right now.

So, Conan and I cooked dinner tonight, since we're sort of on our own this weekend. The corn and mashed potato part was pretty easy--but today, we got to work a charcoal grill for the first time. After about five false starts, we decided drenching the entire porch with lighter fluid and dropping a lit ball of newspaper from a garden rake while standing six feet away was a good idea (since the fifth try nearly singed off Conan's eyebrows). Well, we got it going, and we got the steak cooked. It wasn't too bad, if you got past the fact we could have marinated it in butane and got the same effect. I could probably fart and blow the house up. Yum.

Radiator Hose

I discovered today I'm actually kind of smart. And my procrastination habit has no shame--I waited until four hours before the final exam to do the take-home part. Thankfully, it only took me two and a half.

I made a deal with myself--I'm holding myself hostage in the library until I get at least half of my ridiculously overdue ESOL projects done. Thankfully, I prepared and brought my entire anime collection with me. Take THAT, actually-productive-and-motivated-side-of-myself. You can't defeat Yu Yu Hakusho.

Also discovered Google bought Youtube. It tried signing me into my account with my email address, and I got a little scared. I forgot my password to that account ages ago.

I'm not sure anyone knows how volatile my mind can be. I'll have to draw a picture someday.

Summer project #3--Illustrate your usual state of mind. Use crayons or pastel colors.

(Summer project number one being cello related, number two involving a lot of retina damage from looking too long at the computer screen)

Missing Hubcap

This past week taught me more than four semesters of college.

Middle schoolers don't shut up.

Old people don't care if you only had a month to prepare a ridiculously challenging program after a ridiculously difficult opera. They want their performance now and get very angry when they find out the time was changed to a matinée.

Music life after high school requires a legal marriage between yourself and your instrument.

Hitting limits is hard. Breaking them is even harder.

Upping your practice schedule is good. Suddenly doing it is bad.

Procrastination really isn't a good thing.

You should own more than one pair of flip-flops.

Don't borrow an umbrella and lose it.

I lack some very basic human capacities. I bitch a lot. Too much caffeine and I talk faster than Martha. It seems I have a touch of ADD sometimes.

My cello has a glorious wolf tone all up and down the G string--and what do you know it--the C string too.

Broken TomTom

It seems like I've grown up really doing only what was expected of me. Never thought much for myself, besides getting food and good grades. I'm a mess now--I can barely decide on a daily basis what to even eat--should I go to the underbelly or the cafe? Oh the woes of dietary options.

Spending a lot of time in the room, kinda sad. You'd think I'd at least be studying or even playing video games. I don't even know what I do anymore.

...61 days until the semester is over...

Parking Lot

There was a Christmas when I was a sad girl when most of the gifts I got were hygiene products--lotion, body wash, some make up, scrub luffas--when what I really wanted was Pokemon cards and buildable Zoid models. I just got back from happily spending $50 at Wal-Mart on Q-Tips and hair mousse. Talk about irony. :p

I'm trying to decide what I really want out of life. Sadly, I haven't lived enough to want anything.

After moving out of the dorm at the end of last semester, I vowed NEVER to suffer three flights of stairs carrying unnessessary boxes ever again. Three tubs, laptop, a small suit case, my cello, fridge, and TV is all I'm taking.

Peep.

Change beneath the seat

Waning time wasted

picking pennies and singing

room remains unpacked

Conan off on another date. Dad home early. Going off to Lakeland for good Sunday.

It's hard to believe the summer's already over... actually, to be truthful, it felt like forever... but for the first time I'm really not looking forward to going back anymore. I usually love going back, but I really hate the stress.

Goal number two (number one dealing with procrastination) is get a freaking car.